If you tuned in to the MTV VMAs last
night, sorry you wasted hours of your life you’ll never get back. Host
Miley Cyrus was so “shocking” that she flashed her boob (woopsy) and
passed around weed. Wow, how cutting edge, how brave, how completely and
totally contrived. But, to be fair, if you have been watching Miley’s
ubiquitous scantily clad ads for the event, she delivered as promised.
Mind you, I don’t have an issue with
Miley Cyrus running around naked. At this point, no one really cares and
we’ve seen it all – literally just about every inch – with her
oft-naked Instagrams and social media over-sharing. Miley barely had her
nips in check on the red carpet in her silver suspender top and
definitely set the tone for the evening – bile over substance.
But surprisingly, the competition for
the appearance of the biggest boob at the VMAs didn’t go to Miley Cyrus’
nip slip. For my money, Justin Bieber and Kanye West are tied for that
honor. Bieber lip synched all-too-horribly then broke down in tears.
Was he crying because he realized everyone would know that he didn’t
bother trying to sing live? Or maybe he was excited about Kanye’s
appearance. Gag.
Kanye West gave a 10 minute (yawn) long
acceptance speech for his Vanguard Award – who among you wasn’t secretly
hoping that Taylor Swift would bum rush the stage and interrupt him?
Can you imagine it? “Kanye, I’mma let you finish your rant and
presidential announcement, but first I just wanna say Sarah Palin had
one of the best presidential runs ever.”